Since the pandemic, the internet was rife with the term burn out along with other mental health buzz words. To be honest, I never really cared about them and kept going at my regular pace. In fact, during the first few months into the lockdown, I started clocking more hours than I used to. In the start, it surely gave me good results like getting more things done but I had to pay a big price for it. This blog is about that bad habit and how I am trying to get rid of it.
I started my career in small startups where the work was great and every day was filled with challenges and new learnings related to work. However, the work culture wasn't that great, and overclocking was normal. Even though my recent work environment had great work culture and amazing work-life balance, I never really got out of my older habits. These habits manifested themselves in form of me having late lunches, not getting up from my seat for a very long period, and having bad posture. The good part was that I had to take a cab from the office which acted as a psychological shift from the work setting to the home setting. Unfortunately, even this didn't last long when the pandemic started.
As soon as the pandemic started, we were all remote, and rides back home were no more available and I was always in a work setting despite being at home. So, the first few months into the pandemic, I felt the exhaustion but I still kept going on. I was getting more responsibilities, the pressure was building up but I was liking what I was doing so I ignored all the signs and kept on focussing on the work. These bad habits continued until I realized the state I was in. My body had been showing me the symptoms yet I ignored them all along. The result was anxiety, lack of interest, fatigue, and lack of clarity in what I was doing.
Again, my ignorant self tried to sequester these symptoms with a bullshit phrase like "It'll go away" but it didn't work. This time, I knew something was off and that is when I started reading about it. I realized what I was going through was burn out but what I couldn't find out was a way to get out of it. But I knew, I had to take time off and do something recreational or at least something for my mental well-being.
This is when I finally joined yoga to do something for my mental well-being. It also made me realize that any form of exercise is paramount for a healthier mind. Within a few weeks, I could notice that my health was improving but the anxiety and lack of interest in my work were still my problems. This was a harder problem for its impact was subconscious. This is because I never really had a hobby apart from coding so my professional and personal space were deeply intertwined. I wanted a break from my relationship with work. So I started taking regular recharge days, going out, watching movies, organizing my stuff (yes I like this 😆), or reading books. In summary, I did everything that didn't involve coding or using my laptop. I am continuing these habits and the results are showing but slowly.
I wish I had paid attention to all this way sooner before I got lost. So, if you are reading this and you are dealing with something similar, pause for a moment and take care of yourself and find your peace.
Pay attention now or pay the price later. Choose wisely.